Huh

It feels weird to be writing on this. I was reading back on old posts, seeing the progression I made.

As in my last post I linked you up to my tumblr - I update it pretty much everyday. Though the writing is never as personal as it got here I guess. It feels weird to be writing on here - does anyone still ever read it these days? I don't know.

www.notlostjustundiscovered.tumblr.com

Anyway.

Summary:
My best friend here went back to America. That sucked. I miss her incredibly, but so glad I had that friendship in my life.
I was an O week leader for the 2nd session so that was fun to meet new people, make new friends.
I fell in 'lust' for a couple months. Nothing much came out of it though.
Only just starting to move on from that, and feel slightly little inklings of 'like' for another person. Not sure how long that will last - however it makes it interesting that he does uni here also, but is also from my hometown.
2nd session subjects are so much better than 1st.
Also I'm writing a fair bit for www.theaureview.com and they have given me some amazing music opportunities to review. Love that website.

Anyway. The Getaway Plan reunion show this Friday. Cannot wait.

SO if you are reading this. Follow me on tumblr ;)

Lust/Infatuation

If you actually read these blog posts, I obviously liked a guy majorly last year. For 10 or so months, probably longer than I had ever liked someone before.

That all fizzled out, and love life became boring over the few months before I moved to Wollongong.

Ever since I moved, while I haven't developed massive crushes I have developed what I call the 'drunken crush.'

It lasts for 2 weeks tops, and it happens with someone I drunkenly hook up with. It's happened maybe 3/4 times since I have moved. Generally though it starts with me seeing the particular guy, thinking he is cute, then pursuing him or the whole 'thrill of the chase' when we are out and about. Nothing much comes out of it to be honest, by generally that's cool with me and then after that I move onto the next person so to speak, or chill out for a while.

At the moment I'm going through another drunken crush but for some reason this one feels a little different. Maybe it's because I don't think he is as much out of my league at the others were. Or maybe cause he is generally the type I don't usually go for.

After going through this drunken crush, I realised I am tiring of the single scene. Not that I particularly want to dive headfirst into a relationship either, but the swapping and changing is just me putting off a fear of being unwanted maybe, or not being good enough. We'll see what happens.

P.S.
If you want everyday updates (or there abouts) I have a tumblr. http://notlostjustundiscovered.tumblr.com

Stay cool.

High Hopes In Velvet Ropes

So, the past weekend my friend and I decided to take 8 friends back with us to our hometown, generally so they could meet our friends and have a fun and yes drunken night out.

This didn't quite go as expected. Certain incidents happened. I was disgusted with the lack of respect shown. I was left in tears on Saturday night with certain behaviours of some of the people we took back and barely got an apology the next day. All in all, I never got a chance to catch up with my friends from home and I guess this is what upset me the most.

Lucky I guess I'm not one to hold grudges. The last thing I want is the sort of bullshit drama in Wollongong that used to happen in Wagga. It makes me laugh (bitterly) to hear so many people proclaiming that they are sick of the drama when they are the ones that thrive on it.

But I am still loving Wollongong. I am still loving college life. I am beginning to like the person I have become so much better this year than I was last year. I'm still working on the whole confidence thing and eventually getting there. Sometimes I slip - sometimes I get in bad moods that I can't shake off, get snappy and sick of people, but long gone are the days where I faked a smile just to get through.

Assertiveness and happiness are knocking at the door.

Foot stamping time

There is only so many times a selfish person can make me cry. And while in reference to this person I may have said I am putting my foot down before, clearly I never did.

However something has snapped in me. God it's taken long enough but the patience has once again worn thing. Maybe it's because i am in a better position than I was last year, or maybe it's because I am more confident within myself. But the foots going down, and I'm going to prove Tahlia can also be a stubborn bitch. Two can play this game.

WHAT UP

Again it's been a while. Life is busy. Even when it's not, it still feels that way. I mean as far as uni and coursework goes, I have it pretty lucky, my hours aren't intense at all. I think they'll be worse next session. But for some reason I feel like I'm always lacking time. Maybe living at college has something to do with that also, coz there is always something going on, someone to have a gossip session with, some sort of uni work to get done.

Not that I'm complaining at all, because I am loving every single minute of it, even if I have turned into a slightly more alcoholic party girl compared to what I was. But hey, that's college life for you. As long as my grades keep up, I have a great friends, and am having fun that's all that matters.

My friend went back home, the one that had the breakdown. It sucks because as she's American it's not like i can just go visit her. Two of my other close friends here are American also and they'll be leaving in July which really really sucks but such is life I guess. People are always coming and going.

As on the loooooove front - nothing much happening. Still the whole 'thrill of the chase' and after that infatuation is gone. I'm still back and forth about the whole 'a relationship would be nice' and the 'hell yeah I am loving single life'

Ha, that guy I had the big dilemma about, pretty much ignores me until he feels lonely. I don't even know what to make of that. I honestly believe he doesn't intentionally realising he is doing it, but whatever.

Heading home for the Gold Cup . Maybe will write about it, if it's interesting!

Never down and out

I am really worried about one of my good friends here. She's not responding anymore. Doesn't come out of her room, doesn't talk to anyone. I just went down to see her, and while I talked and asked questions etc, she just stared at me, unblinking, not saying anything, just staring. I don't know how it happened....I didn't pick up on any warning signs. It's like she has all of a sudden just snapped. I think she's going home soon. I'll miss her, but I guess in situations like this, it's just for the best.

I felt scared for her. And I feel bad for feeling scared, but I am just at such a loss and don't know what to do.

You know when you think something has got better, then some stupid little incident happens to just make you pissed off to the max?

Okay so we are both stubborn people. But I am far more considerate of their feelings, compared to what they are like with me. For once I am sick of being the one apologising for nothing I did wrong. For once I wish they could be the understanding ones. For once I wish they could be bothered to be reasonable or stop being such a stuck up, fag of a jerk.

I am pissed off. End of story.