Lust/Infatuation

If you actually read these blog posts, I obviously liked a guy majorly last year. For 10 or so months, probably longer than I had ever liked someone before.

That all fizzled out, and love life became boring over the few months before I moved to Wollongong.

Ever since I moved, while I haven't developed massive crushes I have developed what I call the 'drunken crush.'

It lasts for 2 weeks tops, and it happens with someone I drunkenly hook up with. It's happened maybe 3/4 times since I have moved. Generally though it starts with me seeing the particular guy, thinking he is cute, then pursuing him or the whole 'thrill of the chase' when we are out and about. Nothing much comes out of it to be honest, by generally that's cool with me and then after that I move onto the next person so to speak, or chill out for a while.

At the moment I'm going through another drunken crush but for some reason this one feels a little different. Maybe it's because I don't think he is as much out of my league at the others were. Or maybe cause he is generally the type I don't usually go for.

After going through this drunken crush, I realised I am tiring of the single scene. Not that I particularly want to dive headfirst into a relationship either, but the swapping and changing is just me putting off a fear of being unwanted maybe, or not being good enough. We'll see what happens.

P.S.
If you want everyday updates (or there abouts) I have a tumblr. http://notlostjustundiscovered.tumblr.com

Stay cool.

Lust is never easy

Take note of the word lust. I believe in love as much as the next person, but unlike the next person, I believe way to many people (teenagers especially) confuse lust and infatuation to feelings of 'pure true love'


A little while ago I was excited to move, for numerous reasons, but one being a potential relationship with someone. But time passes and people change. Or maybe they don't change, but as you get closer to them, feelings pass, or they aren't the person you imagined in your head. Oh if only our imaginations could conjure something then life would be sweet.

I myself, have lusted over people. I have probably ever really REALLY liked, about 3 guys in my life. But even then I never fooled myself into thinking it was love. It was pure lust. And after the thrill of the chase, and when it got to the point where these guys liked me back, and things started happening, I get cold feet and my feelings start to disappear. Hence, lust/infatuation stage over before it can ever progress to love.

This is probably quite normal of a teenage girl.

I am the kind of girl that can hook up with a guy, and leave it at that. Then always in my situation the wrong guys get attached and want more, whereas that's done and I just want to be friends (probably typical male behaviour)
Then as soon as I hook up with a guy, and then they show no interest, apart from the brief hello, I find myself being drawn to them. Confusing no? It's like the guys I can get easily I don't want. As soon as it becomes the thrill of the chase, I am immediately infatuated, always with the wrong type of guy.

I'm just going to stick with the fact I have not yet come close to finding someone I want to commit too. Maybe one day...

Ahh young lust

Just had a random memory of a guy I hooked up with one.

Note - when I say hook up, I just mean kiss, not the real deal.


We went for a drunken walk at midnight, stopping on every corner, at every fence, and most peoples front yards, to make out like crazy. Kinda like they do in movies when they are so overwhelmed by passion.

Thinking back I wasn't carried away with passion, and I doubt he was either. It was almost like we were actors, so desparately wishing to feel that feeling of undeniable passion.

This made me think of my hook ups and previous relationships. Sure I've enjoyed hooking up with people, but not once have I ever felt passionate about anyone. Ever.