Everything seems a bit dead end right now.
I'm having a serious lack of energy and enthusiasm. Perfect example - A friend asks to go out Saturday night?
Normally a night of drinking, dancing, and socialising is a fun time for me. I sat there thinking 'you know what, I really cannot be bothered.'
But I force myself to go, because what else would I do but sit at home, and over think, and become totally emotive hardcore about things happening in my life, that really aren't that bad compared to what other people have to face. So I go, I smile, I come home exhausted from putting on such a fake act.
I'm not letting myself do this again. For every negative, I'm out to find a positive. Because I don't want to get to 10 years time, and look back and realise how good I had it, and how I never took advantage of it.
Negative: I'm not at uni with my friends this year
Positive: I'll go to uni with a shit load more money than they did
Negative: Some of my friendships that I never thought would fall apart seem to be. The strong bond, is slowly disintergrating, no matter how much effort I feel like I make.
Positive: Realising who my true friends are, and becoming more independant and meeting new people myself, rather than relying on others.
Negative: I hate my job. I hate getting up in the morning, and know thats where I am heading for 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week.
Positive: More determined to find something else that makes me happier.
Negative: My favourite band, The Getaway Plan, broke up
Positive: Ok sometimes you can't find a positive...
But you catch my drift.