Saturday, January 3, 2009

Realisations and Revelations..

I think I have a tendency to lead guys on. I feel bad about it, but a couple situations have just happened over the last month that has made me (over)think about this problem.
In the words of Katy Perry, I'm too hot and cold, yes then no, in then out, up and then down. One minute, I'll meet a nice guy, get along with him really well, share a kiss or more, and then I'll be ready to forget about him and move on. Meanwhile there he is texting me, wanting to meet up again, wanting more...possibly a relationship and I just don't know what to do to show my interest is lacking. It's happened to a few guys lately, and I feel like a horrible person. I am keen on them at the time, but I don't know. I'm not against relationships at all, to be honest right now I'd quite like one, but I don't want to jump into it for the sake of being with someone.

Then I start to think - am I too shallow? Too quick to point out their flaws in a bid to turn me off them? Or am I just not meeting the type of guy I can commit to?

It's pretty confusing. And I genuinely like these guys, but after that initial first hook up, I just want to be friends and generally they don't want just friendship. They either try to make it more serious, or expect me to hook up with them on a casual level.

I'm personally in a confused state of mind. I guess when I like someone, and want more I'll know at the time. But for now, I'm enjoying the single life. I enjoy when a kiss is just a kiss, and it's just a random one off encounter. I'm just kind of tired of feeling like I may be hurting people in the process.

1 comment:

Al Young said...

Hurting people is pretty much inevitable: contrary to popular belief, men tend to get attached quicker than women. You have to break a few eggs to make an omelette: you might as well have a little fun in breaking them. Emotionally as well as physically always was my favourite.